


The World in Him

by miscellanium



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Awkward First Times, Awkward Romance, Character Study, Clothed Sex, Dating, Friendship/Love, Implied Relationships, M/M, Mentions of Dermatillomania, Multiple Orgasms, Mutual Masturbation, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 07:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5576431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miscellanium/pseuds/miscellanium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're in Yuuya's room sitting close together on his bed, thighs touching, and Sawatari is getting ready to push him down for another round of mouths and hands everywhere but this isn't where it started. It started with a confession disguised as a dare.</p><p>[wherein yuuya's a virgin and shingo's not and they're both circling each other until one makes the first move.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. part one

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Luvandia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luvandia/gifts).



> originally intended as a fill for the ygoanonmeme but it took on a life of its own; chris encouraged me to actually write the thing and made a couple suggestions but neither of us anticipated it'd be this long sdhkfk happy holidays!!
> 
> this is also for jas, who has been the yuuya to my shingo and so much more. thank you.
> 
> trans readers: i use language i'm comfortable with but please use your discretion.

They're in Yuuya's room sitting close together on his bed, thighs touching, and Sawatari is getting ready to push him down for another round of mouths and hands everywhere but this isn't where it started. It started with a confession disguised as a dare.

\------

"Let's up the stakes, Sakaki Yuuya!" Sawatari's voice came through the vidcom call just fine but he shouted anyway, unable to hear himself over the sound of his blood rushing in his ears. "Loser of this duel has to go on a date with the winner, and!" He held up a finger. "And pay for everything!"

Yuuya laughed, drawing another card and looking over his choices. "A date? Why not just buy a pack of cards?"

Shaking his head, Sawatari put his left hand in his pocket to find something to fiddle with and steady himself. It was a reflexive gesture, born from a childhood of attending function after function with nothing to keep him company other than a model dart for rolling between his fingers, and one he hadn't bothered trying to suppress. He still carried the small metal toy with him but right now he needed more to ground him, like the rhythm of Yuuya's pulse showing under the skin of that soft throat.

"Not public enough. Haven't you ever dared someone to do something? Or been dared? What kinda entertainer are you, Yuuya-kun?" He drew out the vowels, hoping to goad just like the first time they met.

It kind of worked. Yuuya was more amused by the request, though, and wondered what Sawatari would do if they socialized somewhere public together. They hadn't really done that so far—dueling on one of the big Leo Duel School fields, like now, didn't count—and he wanted to see more of what this guy was like as just a normal kid. Because Sawatari was a normal kid like the rest of them, Yuuya knew, but he hadn't quite been given the opportunity to act like one.

"Sure, Sawatari. You're on."

\---

Sawatari won, his new deck combo just as hard to break as the previous one, and after a fair amount of preening he suggested they go somewhere right then.

"Oh, you already have somewhere in mind?" Yuuya smiled. "Did you plan this?"

"Wh—Of course I did! I never plan to _lose_ ," said Sawatari, dodging the actual question. "It's midsummer so what we gotta do is go get ice cream. My friends know this good place that sells all kinds of stuff." They were already there, he knew, because Ootomo had texted him right before the duel started. He'd told them about his plan the other day, asking them to stick around for moral support, and after they'd finished teasing him about his apparently obvious crush they'd agreed. "C'mon, Yuuya, I'll show you the way," he said, walking over to one of many bicycle racks as the two of them exited the school.

Yuuya hung back. "Sawatari, I walked here."

"So?" Sawatari looked up from unlocking his bike. "Oh. _Oh_. Well, you can ride with me." This was going better than planned.

Without missing a beat, Yuuya said, "Sounds like fun!" He'd never gotten to be a passenger like this, and the way Sawatari's face lit up before he even said yes was— He didn't want to spend too long trying to put a name to it and let it fade, so as soon as Sawatari was ready he found a perch on the rear mudguard, balancing himself with most of his weight on the spokes.

"You can hold onto me. What kind of gentleman would Sawatari Shingo be if he let you die before you could follow through on a dare?" He said this flippantly, brushing his bangs out of his face, before turning back around fast so he could stop trying to hide a grin. As soon as Yuuya's hands pressed against his body, though, right below his ribs, his heart jackrabbited and the resulting squeeze Yuuya gave him was from him pushing off, yeah, that's all it was.

By the time they got there the afternoon shadows were getting long, the day's heat at its peak, and it was easy for Sawatari to write off his sweaty palms as the result of exercise and Yuuya being heavy.

"Sharing the bike was your idea," Yuuya said, laughing, but Sawatari ignored the remark and pulled him into the ice cream shop. It was a small, spare place, suggesting an emphasis on food quality over all else.

"This is an exclusive place, y'see, my friends and I are some of the rare few who know about it. Only uses the finest ingredients," said Sawatari, smirking a bit, as he found Yamabe, Kakimoto, and Ootomo sitting at one of just three wooden tables. Catching Ootomo's eye and waving at him, Sawatari added, "Oh look, my friends are here! You haven't been formally introduced, have you?" Before Yuuya could point out what had happened the last time they all met he barreled on. "Let's sit with them because they wanted to know how my new deck would do against you, and now you can tell them yourself!"

But first Sawatari took his time deciding what to get, making a show out of peering through the glass at each possible choice, while Yuuya found his usual (peach, the gentle sweetness of it ideal for a day like this) and ordered it. Having finally settled on a bowl of strawberry ice cream heaped with chocolate sauce, sprinkles, and numerous other toppings, Sawatari raised an eyebrow at the sugar cone stuck on top of Yuuya's order.

"That's it? I bring you to a place like this and that's all you get?" He rolled his eyes and gave a couple neatly folded bills from his pocket to the proprietor. 

Yuuya held up his wallet. "Wasn't I supposed to pay?" 

"Well." Sawatari pursed his lips and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it there as though that'd explain things for him. "I've got tons of pocket cash and you don't. You'll just owe me, is all."

"Okay, Sawatari." With a chuckle Yuuya took Sawatari's bowl from the counter and headed to their table. After spending more time with him Sawatari had become somewhat easier to read, his typical overreactions aside, and when he tried to feint now it wasn't as hard to guess at the real meaning beneath. Still wasn't easy, but they were getting there.

"Sakaki Yuuya, is it? The famous Entertainment Duelist?" Ootomo grinned at Yuuya's slightly embarrassed expression. "Sawatari-san talks about you all the time."

Sawatari spit out, "I-I do not!"

Once he'd straightened out who was who for their guest (Ootomo had the ponytail and Kakimoto the brown hair) it didn't take long to fall into a rhythm, the three older kids skillful in pulling Yuuya into their banter about dueling and classroom drama, and because his friends were free with their hands Sawatari took advantage of the opportunity to do the same. So he'd put a hand on Yuuya's upper arm, laughing, or reach across the table close enough to brush Yuuya's chest. This was bold, he knew, but it'd seem normal right now, wouldn't it, and besides Yuuya didn't seem to mind.

Yuuya could see Sawatari's friends exchanging knowing glances—really, none of them was as subtle as they thought they were—and that was fine. He was enjoying the warmth of Sawatari's soft palm against his skin, the relaxed line of Sawatari's shoulders, and so he leaned into every touch. Seeing the other kid happy, genuinely happy and not riled up one way or another, made him want to help Sawatari find a way to hold onto that feeling. It might take some work, defensive as Sawatari could be, but he could guess at what to do.

At one point Yuuya spooned melted ice cream into his mouth but some dripped onto the table, giving Sawatari an opening to whip out his handkerchief and clean up with a gentlemanly flourish. As Yuuya smiled in thanks he wiped his mouth on his hand, fingers lingering on his lips; Sawatari sat there, lightheaded and amazed that he hadn't fallen to the floor despite someone yanking his chair away, until Ootomo elbowed him sharp. Had he been staring? He wasn't staring. He laughed loud, elbowing Ootomo back, and the conversation went on. 

Then they were told that the shop was closing; what felt like one or two hours had been four, much to Sawatari's surprise and poorly-hidden disappointment. Ootomo quickly said goodbye, winking at him before pulling Kakimoto and Yamabe away with him, so it was just the two of them standing on the busy sidewalk in the early evening light.

"I had a lot of fun, Sawatari. That was a very nice date," Yuuya said right as Sawatari opened his mouth, heading off what was certain to be some jab about money or taste in food. Yuuya wasn't going to let him bring his defenses back up, and if the look on Sawatari's face was any indication he'd broken through pretty well.

Sawatari closed his mouth, feeling his face heat up and thankful for the low sun behind him. After a couple false starts, he said, "Of course it was! I'm as good at entertaining people off Action Fields as I am on them!" Yuuya just smiled at him. With his strategy undercut he had to wing it and that meant blurting out, "We should do that again. You still owe me, y'know." 

Now it was Yuuya's turn to be taken aback. For some reason he'd expected Sawatari to end it here, pull back to neutral ground like usual, because that was what the guy did when trying to rebuild those walls. That was why Sawatari had rejected the hand up after their championship duel, wasn't it? Maybe he hadn't cracked Sawatari as much as he'd thought. 

"Yeah!" Yuuya grinned bright, and Sawatari allowed himself a small smile in return.

"Do you need a ride home?"

\---

So they went on another date, and a third, and a fourth, and eventually they settled into the habit of meeting after school, hanging around the front gate and standing close together as they talked so other students could stream past on the sidewalk. Often it took rock-paper-scissors to agree on where to go (and somehow Sawatari's crew frequently ended up there as well) but it almost didn't matter what kind of place they visited. Yuuya could spin anything into a joke and Sawatari could make him laugh, their chats swinging from one topic to the next until the sky grew dark and the city lights came on. Oh sure—sometimes they got into fights, Sawatari stomping off with his bag slung dramatically over his shoulder, yet it never took very long for him to circle back towards Yuuya's sympathetic smile.

These weren't dates, though. When Yuuya called it that the second time they met up, Sawatari cut him off with a huff.

"You've paid off the debt."

"I have?" Yuuya raised his eyebrows. "When did I buy you anything?"

"Look, this is what friends do, isn't it? Go places together and hang out?" Sawatari's ears were going pink and he'd stuck both hands in his pockets so Yuuya didn't push it.

These were dates, actually. But Sawatari couldn't let Yuuya get ahead of him, not here; people always looked at him the wrong way, either judging him by his papa or assuming it was just shallow theatrics learnt from the political stage he'd grown up on. Yuuya didn't do that. Any acting on Yuuya's part was for entertainment, not subterfuge, not like Akaba Reiji. Sawatari understood Akaba's script—or had at least figured out how to follow their choreography—yet still couldn't guess how to anticipate Yuuya's cues. Yuuya hadn't asked anything of him beyond simple companionship and with his easy solutions left locked behind Akaba's bedroom door all Sawatari could do was hope to find a way to nail Yuuya down. The rest would follow. Until then, however, he needed to be careful.

That didn't mean Sawatari needed to avoid resting a hand on Yuuya's shoulder to guide him somewhere. And if Yuuya hooked an arm around one of Sawatari's to try and pull him across the street before the walk signal changed over, that was fine. There was no harm in getting close. That was the goal, and if he felt Yuuya out before the final push then things couldn't possibly go wrong.

Yuuya, for his part, wished Sawatari would touch him more. It wasn't hard to tell the guy wanted to, from the look in his eyes to his twitching fingers, but clearly there was a reason for the hesitation so Yuuya could wait; the more time they spent together the more Sawatari should loosen up. He tolerated the ever-present entourage because, hey, what could it hurt to get to know them, but when they showed up at what was supposed to be a movie date he was done. Annoyed, he was about to tell Sawatari to make them leave but then Sawatari smiled, Ootomo's arm around his shoulders as they walked over to the ticket booth, and the afternoon sun angled through the theater window and the dust caught in it lit up the four of them like a painting Yuuya had seen years ago and held in his memory without understanding. The answer was here in that simple touch and so he kept his mouth closed. Those three were Sawatari's family more than anything, the ones who wanted nothing but to see him happy and the ones who had been there for him (or tried to be) when no one else had. Did Yuuya know all this for a fact? Nah, of course not. But given what he'd seen it wasn't hard to guess and feel that he was right. And for someone who'd grown up the way Sawatari had, well, maybe he could cut his friend some slack. To be fair, they didn't come to every date. Just the ones that seemed a little more notable, maybe—ah. That was it.

"What're you gawking at? Did you change your mind?" Sawatari snapped his fingers in front of Yuuya's face. "Too much of a baby for a horror movie like this?"

Yuuya scoffed, taking the ticket Sawatari waved at him. "Five bucks says you wet your pants."

"HEY—"

"The movie's gonna start soon, guys," Yamabe said, pulling open the doors.

Once in, Sawatari announced that his friends preferred the balcony seats but he thought the best seat was in this one particular row so those guys would go sit in the bad seats and he would show Yuuya the good seats.

There were a couple raised eyebrows but the crew headed upstairs, leaving the two of them alone together. See, Sawatari told the Yuuya in his imagination, I'm not a baby. Yuuya wasn't one of the people who'd called him that, but still. And now here they were, sitting side by side in a mostly empty theater for a midday matinee, and the most he could bring himself to do was the old yawn-and-stretch maneuver. Anything more felt too close to manipulation and he'd had enough of that. Ignoring what was probably Yuuya stifling a laugh, Sawatari pointed out which advertisements his papa had a hand in just so he could hear "That's neat, Sawatari," in that gentle voice before the lights went down.

Neither of them ended up winning the five bucks, although there was an argument over who screamed at the jump scare (definitely not Sawatari Shingo). After the older students found reasons to leave Yuuya offered to walk Sawatari home. He'd given up trying to talk Sawatari out of paying their way everywhere but there were still plenty of small gestures left. Their evening walks were quieter than during the day, Sawatari more subdued when the streets were less crowded; when he was showing off for an audience of one his guard was lower—he let himself laugh when his voice cracked, once, and didn't sneak one of his usual sidelong glances after—and so Yuuya wanted to see how much more he could open his friend up before the coming end of summer.

\---

Evenings in the warehouse were a bit chilly, its walls and roof cracked from fighting and neglect, so if Sawatari and his friends weren't trying to cuddle in a pile on the too-small couch they needed to keep their jackets on. Bundled up and sitting around the low table their idle talk turned to Yuuya as it nearly always did these days, speculating on the state of Sawatari's relationship while he had his mouth full of pie and couldn't tell them to shut up.

"Have you two even held hands yet?" Yamabe asked, his eyebrows raised.

Kakimoto leaned in. "Don't you remember? The first time they met, how he got Yuuya to come to the center court—"

Sawatari swallowed hastily so he could scoff, ignoring the water Ootomo held out in anticipation of his choking. "That doesn't count. It needs to be capital-R romantic, something flashy that'll really stick with him and remind him how amazing I am. None of this," he waved vaguely. "Amateur stuff." He'd been surprised then by how warm Yuuya's hand was, how open and trusting the kid had been, and then, well. Not that his friends weren't open and trusting with him but Yuuya was different. He didn't want to screw up this time. "When's the Tanabata festival this year?" It'd always seemed like Akaba Reiji was laughing at him whenever he came close to suggesting they do something less transactional and here was a chance for a do-over. Yuuya kept letting him try again but this was something he wanted to get right for his own sake.

"This weekend, I think," Ootomo said, sitting back on his crate. "What, you going to pull some strings?"

"Already did! Made sure there was gonna be a ferris wheel at the end down by the harbor," said Sawatari, smirking. "How d'you like that?"

If he'd gotten involved already then surely he knew when Tanabata was, but Ootomo let him have this. He'd seen how Sawatari changed after that day, they all had; while they'd liked him from the start because, well, he was cute and he was nice to them, in his way, it was because they loved him that they wanted to help him. The three of them had talked about this, Yamabe pointing out that part of why Sawatari enjoyed their company must have to do with their boring lives (Kakimoto objected, but only on principle) yet it was this gap between them which meant there were places that they could not reach. A guy like Sakaki Yuuya, who'd grown up in the spotlight and knew something about absent fathers, might have an easier time threading that path.

"A ferris wheel?" Kakimoto raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that a bit much?"

Shooting him a look, Sawatari scowled and shoved a hand into his pocket. "They'll hang the traditional streamers from it, okay? Whatever."

\---

The harbor was busier than usual, people drawn to the ferris wheel just as Sawatari had persuaded his father they would be, but Yuuya was nowhere to be seen. They'd promised to meet up, Yuuya suggesting that they text so they could find each other, yet Sawatari hadn't gotten a single response to his messages and the sky was growing dark enough that fireworks could start going off any minute.

"Where is he?!"

Ootomo held out his takoyaki.

"I don't want that!" Sawatari almost stamped his foot but caught himself in time—he didn't do that anymore. He'd matured. "Where's Sakaki Yuuya?!"

"Maybe he's with his own friends?" Yamabe offered a candied apple instead, exhaling when Sawatari grabbed it after squinting at him for a few long seconds. "It's not like you told him what this was for."

Sawatari just glared at him and chewed angrily. He had a reason for that: if he could surprise Yuuya he'd have the advantage, his strategy sure to succeed, and he could prove his smarts. He was a top student at LDS, after all, and it wouldn't do to have a kid from some cheap school show him up. He'd taken Entertainment Dueling and made it his own, improving on it to the point where the audience loved him even when he lost. All he needed now was for Yuuya to recognize this.

Just then Yuuya's voice cut through the crowd. "Hey, Sawatari! There you are!" He arrived panting, cheeks flushed from running, with Yuzu and Sora and those little kids close behind. I didn't invite you, Sawatari thought, frowning at Yuzu, but she just raised an eyebrow in return and stared at him until he had to look away. No matter—he'd win her over later. At least they all had the common sense to wear traditional clothes befitting the occasion, save for Yuuya who was just in his usual t-shirt and cargo pants. Of course he was.

"How dare you keep me waiting, Sakaki Yuuya?!"

"We didn't have a set time, did we?" Yuuya laughed and shrugged. "Sorry, I was hanging out with my friends. I've been spending a lot of time with you lately, y'know, so it's only fair."

"Yeah, stop hogging Yuuya," Sora said, sticking out his tongue and squeezing Yuuya's hand tighter. Wait, they were holding hands? Sawatari glowered at them, ignoring Yamabe's whisper about his face getting stuck like that, and eventually Yuuya noticed and let go.

"He's not staying, is he? You didn't say anything about bringing your friends."

Yuuya scoffed. "You never say anything about bringing yours."

Crossing his arms, Sawatari drew himself up. "That's different and you know it."

"Wh—how is it—" Yuzu took a step forward but Yuuya shook his head at her. Not the time. It'd been hard enough getting Sawatari to this point and while he might not appear anywhere near skittish to a casual observer Yuuya'd seen how the slightest misstep could still set him off. Like a cat, almost, swiping its claws when upset or simply nervous.

"I'm here now, aren't I, Sawatari?" 

"Took you long enough," Sawatari grumbled under his breath before handing the half-eaten candied apple to Kakimoto. "Are they staying? Of course I can entertain as many people as you want but I did think—"

"No, they're not," said Yuuya, interrupting him before he could say something less than tactful. "Another time, though, all right?" Without waiting for a response Yuuya turned to Sora and Yuzu, whispering goodbyes with a smile and gently pushing them away. They went without much complaining, not especially enthusiastic to hang around and be sulked at.

With a wave of his hand Sawatari dismissed his crew, the prearranged fall-back signal that meant give them space but don't disappear (just in case something went wrong, which it wouldn't), and now they were alone together again and Sawatari, for all his planning, was at a loss for what to say. Seeing Yuuya here, beneath the warm festival lights and the night sky—he needed to retreat to safer territory: himself. 

"Do you like my yukata?" He held up an arm. "Handmade and with the finest material my papa could buy! See, isn't it soft?"

Without any hesitation he might once have had Yuuya reached out to touch the sleeve's edge, his fingers brushing against Sawatari's skin, and under the lanterns the shadow of his eyelashes on his cheek was enough to make Sawatari want to—no. Later.

"Oh, did you want to ride the ferris wheel?" Yuuya asked. Sawatari kept glancing over at it, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, so the question almost didn't need asking. But it was a tall one, the wheel, and Yuuya was not a fan of heights. Oh sure, he could fly high during action duels but that was different because there you couldn't die. You weren't supposed to be able to, at least. Safety was built into the system, Leo Corporation always said. But to ride a skeleton of creaking metal far above hard concrete and cold water—

Sawatari took his hand and pulled him towards the ferris wheel. "I'm the one who got this here. My papa's influence and all. Impressive, isn't it?" Shoving his way through the line with Yuuya in tow, Sawatari managed to talk (argue) the ride operator into letting them be the first to go next. "See, aren't you glad to be friends with me?"

"Sure, Sawatari." Yuuya smiled, and in the curve of his smile was a warmth that cut against the cool night air, and Sawatari found himself shivering. But as soon as they sat in the booth he could feel Yuuya's body tense up, fingertips pressing hard against the bones of his hand. That gentle expression was still there though, an act born out of practice on a stage Sawatari was familiar with. So he gave Yuuya's hand a squeeze, grinning at him when he opened his eyes.

The hand-holding was supposed to have been a special moment but it had just happened, the kind of reflexive gesture people make when they're comfortable with their bodies together. In fact, it wasn't until the ferris wheel started turning that either of them fully registered what he had done but it felt right and Yuuya found it a comfort. Here was someone who'd chased after him for so long treating him more like an equal, somebody who saw him not as a target or his father's son but a friend. A real friend. He didn't have many of those.

Just then thunder cracked loud and close but the sky was clear and Yuuya jumped—

"Look, the fireworks!" Sawatari leaned over his side of the carriage, still holding on tight to Yuuya's hand. Yuuya couldn't watch this show of bravery but even staring dead ahead the colors were there, radiant against everything. Out of the corner of his eye he could see the way they set his friend shining, green light catching in Sawatari's hair and blue gleaming off the shoulders of his yukata and pink highlighting his skin—

Reminding himself to laugh, Yuuya said, "Isn't this kinda cheesy, Sawatari?"

Sawatari looked over, expression unreadable with the bright fireworks behind him, and didn't answer. He slid back to the center of the carriage, feeling it tilt and ignoring the sick lurch of his guts responding, and Yuuya's grip on his hand tightened again.

"You scared of heights?"

Yuuya just smiled, keeping his gaze fixed on some vague point ahead of him.

"Good thing you're with the great Sawatari Shingo!" Sawatari bumped his shoulder against Yuuya's, grinning, but when Yuuya didn't respond he leaned in, putting their faces close together. He wasn't great with heights either, not outside of duels, yet with Yuuya by his side he felt like he could take on just about anything. "Why'd you come, then?"

With a chuckle Yuuya shook his head. "Thought it'd be fun. And I am having fun, it's just—"

"I'm going to kiss you, Sakaki Yuuya."

Yuuya took a deep breath. He'd been wondering when Sawatari would ask, and honestly he would've made the first move if he hadn't gotten the sense that getting to do so meant something to Sawatari. Not in some weird manhood way, no, the guy wasn't like that, but he always seemed to be striving to prove he could do good things himself, seeking praise, and even if he tried too hard he was still trying.

Sawatari watched Yuuya intently, brows furrowed despite his best effort to keep his face neutral. He'd guessed that Yuuya'd guessed that he like-liked him and it seemed like a fair bet that Yuuya felt the same way but it was still a gamble. He'd never been great with luck games. Strategy, precision was more his style; luck was Yuuya's territory. But some things were worth the risk, and he'd never felt this as strongly as he did now seeing the moon reflected in those eyes.

"Okay." Yuuya smiled and the small curve upwards sent Sawatari's heart soaring with it.

Taking hold of Yuuya's face with both hands, Sawatari didn't close his eyes until their lips connected and so he could see how long Yuuya's eyelashes were and the way the shadows on Yuuya's cheeks changed as they moved closer or was that a blush starting—

A loud whooping rose from below and Yuuya felt Sawatari's skin turn hot against his own. Of course Sawatari's friends were still down there, cheering them on, and the whole thing was corny and embarrassing and the most wonderful night he'd had in a long time. Even without a lot of his own experience he could tell Sawatari wasn't terribly skilled at kissing but it was still a good kiss: the gentle press of Sawatari's fingertips along his cheekbones and jawline, and Sawatari's nose slightly cold and brushing against his own, and those warm lips, and teeth—

Yuuya pulled away to catch his breath, leaving Sawatari red-faced and panting with his hands shoved between his legs. He was trying to get his eyes refocused too but Yuuya pretended not to notice because, _wow_ , that'd started escalating fast. His stomach kept doing a weird dropping thing at the thought of Sawatari biting harder, and the sight of the other kid looking down as he worked to collect himself—the ride was still going, though, so whatever this was (he knew what it was) would have to wait.

Sawatari hadn't been rejected. Of course he hadn't been. Yuuya'd responded to his expert touch, just as planned, but he knew that was only the start of it. With the fading firework sparks above and paper lanterns glowing red below it was just like the end of their championship duel, when everything went wrong at the last minute because of a chance card draw, and Yuuya looked as beautiful here as he did there but Sawatari could enjoy it now because this time he'd won. Not in the conquering sense; he'd shown somebody what he could do and been recognized for it, really recognized. More than that, even—but there it was, Sawatari could feel the speed of the ride catching up to him, nausea sitting uncomfortable in the back of his throat, so he sat back and closed his eyes.

"You okay, Sawatari?"

Waving a hand in dismissal, Sawatari shook his head. "It's nothing—" He choked. Moving fast when this happened was always a bad idea and he always remembered too late. It didn't help that everything was still knotted tight with nervous energy in his chest and stomach—

This time Yuuya took Sawatari's hand, holding it with two of his own. "The ferris wheel's slowing down now," he said. "I think we can get off soon." He tried to sound neutral, just observing, but Sawatari huffed and turned his face away before wincing again. Sawatari's palm was clammy under Yuuya's fingers, his increasingly shallow breath quickening as though counting down the seconds until the ride stopped.

As soon as they were free of the carriage Sawatari bolted to the nearest trash can and promptly threw up. Ootomo was already there, as though anticipating this, with Yuuya following close behind Kakimoto and Yamabe. In the way Ootomo bent over him, carefully reaching out and sweeping back his bangs, there was a tenderness that almost left Yuuya gasping for breath again. This was a vulnerable moment, and a valuable one. If he could open up Sawatari like this again, see him raw— 

"Why don't you take him home?" Yamabe put a hand on Yuuya's shoulder.

Yuuya blinked up at him, Sawatari's wet coughing clear through the festival noise. "Me?"

"Yeah," Kakimoto said, taking Yuuya's other shoulder. "Your house, actually. His father's not home, as usual, and I promised my mom I'd help watch the dog tonight. Puppies, y'know." He finished with a grin, ignoring the exasperated look Yamabe shot at him over Yuuya's head.

"Gotta take care of my baby cousin. My sis wanted to come out for the last part of the festival," said Yamabe. "There's an outdoor movie."

Yuuya raised his eyebrows. "I don't remember a movie being part of Tanabata," he said.

"It's new, like the ferris wheel," Yamabe said, not really trying to keep the lie out of his voice. Yuuya seemed to get the idea already anyway.

"All right, what about Ootomo?" Given all their hard work getting here it was only decent to play along, Yuuya figured, unable to hide his smile any longer.

"He's got work tomorrow. He's actually thirty," Kakimoto said, grin gone. "When we call him 'old man' we mean it."

They stared at each other for maybe five seconds before sputtering into laughter, Yamabe shaking his head at them as he flashed a thumbs up at Ootomo. Seeing this, Ootomo rubbed Sawatari's back before gently patting him above the hip and coaxing him upright. They'd figured Sawatari might get sick so they'd come up with something quick to make sure his plan—no, his date succeeded. It wasn't even about supporting his strategies anymore; his friends just wanted to see this work after all the energy he had poured into making somebody else happy.

As Sawatari made his way over, leaning on Ootomo, Kakimoto raised his eyebrows at Yuuya behind them. This had gone more or less as expected, which meant the backpack they'd brought with Sawatari's regular uniform and a few other backup props was still untouched. But if he were to stay the night then a change of clothes would be welcome and so the bag was shoved at Yuuya along with its owner.

"Ah, Sawatari, how about I take you home?" Yuuya held out his arm, nodding encouragement when Sawatari narrowed his eyes. "I want your friends to have fun, and I've already done everything I wanted to here." Lowering his voice, he continued, "It'd be nice to get some time alone with you, too."

Clearing his throat but not answering, Sawatari looped his arm around Yuuya's and started pulling him in the direction of the nearest bus stop, determined to show he'd recovered and was still in charge. Yuuya waved goodbye to the three older boys then turned around, Sawatari warm and close by his side.

\---

Mrs. Sakaki was out, still at the festival; Yuuya couldn't remember when she said she'd be home but for the time being the house was quiet, the various pets resting and the neighbors gone as well. Sawatari hadn't fussed much when Yuuya said they should go to his house, happy to have avoided whatever discussions would arise from going to the Sawatari flat, and now he was following Yuuya up the stairs slowly, dragging his hand along the railing because he wanted to remember every feeling.

At the top of the landing Yuuya gave him his backpack then pointed at a door down the hall and said, "You can brush your teeth if you want. I'll get you something to drink, or I think we've got some ginger candies if you want those." Sawatari nodded. "Oh, and my bedroom's over there," Yuuya added as he headed back down the stairs.

Mind racing so fast he couldn't keep up with himself, Sawatari found his way into the bathroom where he changed into his normal clothes and grabbed his fiddle toy in a pants pocket. The way the cold metal warmed up between his fingers and slowed his blood shook him out of his daze, the dart a reminder of their beginning and of how close he was to hitting a—no, that metaphor didn't quite work here, or it did but that wasn't how he wanted to think of tonight. He squeezed the toy and its point dug into his fingertip, sudden and sharp, making him yelp and yank his hand out to put in his mouth. Right, he'd meant to brush his teeth. Do that first, go over strategies and contingency plans after.

But sharing a toothbrush? Wasn't that kind of intimate? Sawatari stared down at the sink. What was he thinking, if he'd played his cards right that was the least intimate thing they were gonna do tonight and that meant he had to get this sour taste out of his mouth. When he was done and entered Yuuya's bedroom ( _Yuuya's bedroom_ ) he was alone, the sound of Yuuya clattering around downstairs his only company. The room was plainer than he'd expected but still felt childish; it wasn't childish in a bad way, just. Compared to his own room. He reached out to touch the bed—

"Here you go, Sawatari." Yuuya shoved a cup of water into his hands and held out a bag of crystallized ginger, tossing it onto the bed and flopping down alongside it. He patted the blanket, looking up at Sawatari with a smile.

Sawatari flashed him a grin despite knowing his fingertips were going white against the glass. "Nice room." He couldn't quite keep the old sneer out of his voice, jittery as he was, so instead of saying more he chugged the water then put the cup down on the floor before neatly seating himself a few inches away on the bed. Oh he could put up a front, he had plenty of practice with that, but this was more than just unfamiliar territory; he'd worked hard to get here and it wouldn't do to retreat so soon. Unwrapping one of the candies and popping it into his mouth, he lay back to consider the ceiling and his next move but then Yuuya reached an arm across him, pinning him and then leaning over and kissing—

It wasn't a better kiss than the first but there were no distractions and so with their attention undivided it felt more immediate, more urgent, starting out slow and testing before Yuuya gasped into Sawatari's mouth and Sawatari grabbed him, rolled them over and straddled him—

They were touching each other, finally, and Sawatari pulled away from sucking on Yuuya's neck because just rubbing a thumb over his nipples, orange fabric not quite rough against their skin, had the guy parting his lips and breathing loud. Yuuya was watching with eyes still wide open but when Sawatari reached down and pulled up the t-shirt, slow and dragging his fingers, he closed his eyes, head dropping back onto the mattress, and Sawatari could feel Yuuya's grip on his hair tighten, hands shaking.

Sawatari sat back and gently untangled Yuuya's hands. "You okay? What, have you not done this before?" Someone as famous as Sakaki Yuuya? He chuckled at the impossibility.

Yuuya took a few breaths before looking up with a grin. "Nope. Have you?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I have!" Sawatari slid off so Yuuya could sit up and have a candy to center himself. "In fact, I've been chosen by the one and only Akaba Reiji! Very few people get that privilege, you know. Puts me miles ahead of the rest of you lot." He was rambling but he couldn't stop, not with Yuuya just looking at him like that. Like—he couldn't figure it out. "If you're a total virgin then I've got a lot to teach you, Sakaki Yuuya; you can be my disciple." He smirked. "Like this one time I was with Akaba, they had me on my knees and I was really close to—"

Yuuya put a hand on his thigh, tracing ever-growing circles. "That's nice, Sawatari." He believed him, and it was because of this that he wanted to give Sawatari the chance to keep some things private. Growing up as a politician's son meant a life lived in public, newspapers and tabloids all pointing at the politician's daughter who'd cut her hair short and started walking with a swagger.

"I—wh—I wasn't finished!"

"I know you weren't." Yuuya grinned, raising an eyebrow to drive the innuendo home. If Sawatari hadn't looked flustered by the interruption he did now, all red-faced and biting the inside of his cheek. "You're with me now, though."


	2. part two

They're in Yuuya's room sitting close together on his bed, thighs touching, and Sawatari is getting ready to push him down for another round of mouths and hands everywhere and this may not be where it started but it's where things pick up.

Just as he shakes off his embarrassment and leans in, Yuuya moves forward with his own plan and they meet halfway—or rather, their foreheads do.

"Ow, fuck!" Sawatari recoils, glaring. "What was that for?"

"Not like I did that on purpose," retorts Yuuya, rubbing his head. Neither of them's much more or less passive than the other, which is part of what he likes about being with Sawatari, but. It can pose some problems.

Sawatari mutters, "Whatever," his face still red, and moves back in, but his hand on Yuuya's cheek is gentle and there is no anger in the press of his lips.

It's not as desperate now, that initial burst a relief valve opened, yet Sawatari's panting just the same as he works on learning the contours of Yuuya's collarbones with his tongue. He's shifting around on the bed, squirming almost, and Yuuya looks at his hair falling over his eyes and sees him back on the ferris wheel, hands shoved between his legs. If he'd gotten worked up so easily there, how much would it take here?

Yuuya climbs onto Sawatari's lap, pinning those fidgeting legs with the weight of his hips, and starts kissing him, licking at his lips, until his eyes close again and he opens his mouth. It's a little strange at first, a deep kiss like this, but as Yuuya pushes in he can feel when Sawatari goes from hesitant to eager, shivering under his hands and breathing hard and moaning—

Pulling away with a startled expression, Sawatari clears his throat and says, "We should be careful, shouldn't we? What if Mrs. Sakaki—"

"You don't have to be _silent_ , and besides we're fine, Mom said she was gonna be out late." Yuuya kisses his jaw, fingers playing with the zipper on his shirt.

Sawatari coughs again. At least he's already blushing enough that Yuuya can't tell he's embarrassed. But, god, what happened to being the cool one? It's so hard sometimes to breathe right around Yuuya, think right, and he wants to touch him so bad but Yuuya's tongue is in his mouth again and the skin on his back is prickling and he can't figure out what to do with his hands. It seems like Yuuya can't either, though, as he's mostly only touched him above the neck, so at least they're about the same in that respect. 

"You can—" Yuuya swallows, rolling his hips and watching his friend go a bit cross-eyed in response. "You can touch me." Sawatari's hands have been hovering over Yuuya's thighs, fingers twitching, and at this he inhales sharply and lets them drop.

Even through the thick cargo fabric Yuuya can feel the heat of Sawatari's palms, moving slow yet firm, and the thought of that on his cock— He leans forward, pushing Sawatari backwards until he's lying flat on his back again with his legs hanging off the bed. Like this it's easier to reach more places, especially if Yuuya raises his hips some, and it doesn't take much encouragement to get Sawatari sliding his hands up along the inside of Yuuya's thighs. Pressing a kiss behind Sawatari's ear, Yuuya reaches down to copy him while going to grope at his chest. But then there's a quiet grunt and his hand's being moved off, Sawatari holding his wrist and looking away.

It's not that Sawatari doesn't like his chest being touched, because he does, or that he has a problem with anything else, because he doesn't really. It's just that there's no way to know what people are thinking when they do that, how they're seeing him. If they're seeing him at all. One important thing he's learned from politics and entertainment dueling both is in order to control your audience you have to be able to control your image. He can trust his friends, and he doesn't have any solid reason to doubt Yuuya, but still. Maybe next time.

Yuuya would ask why but there's something in the press of fingernails against his skin that locks the words in his throat. Another time, maybe. So instead he runs a hand down Sawatari's side and along the curve of his ass, roaming with the one as he rubs at Sawatari's clit through his trousers with the other, and meanwhile he's being felt up front and back at the same time, his cock fondled through his pants— Shuddering, Yuuya rests his face against Sawatari's neck, mouthing at what skin he can reach, and pushes his fingers in as far as Sawatari's trousers will allow. From the way the fabric shifts he can tell how wet Sawatari is and oh fuck he's close, maybe too close—

"Sa-Sawatari, stop, I'm gonna—"

But Yuuya cuts himself off because Sawatari's already whimpering under his breath, his full-faced blush rushing back and grip loosening and eyes squeezed shut, and when he arches up against Yuuya it's not difficult to guess what's happening. Sawatari bucks a little, wheezing through the aftershocks and groaning low in his throat as his body relaxes, thick eyebrows unfurrowing. For a moment there he looks serene—it's the only word that comes to mind because all Yuuya can think of is how he wants to see him feel that free again, make that happiness a less rare thing, so he nudges one leg between Sawatari's and presses. On instinct Sawatari responds, rocking his hips to hump him; his forehead's getting a bit sweaty and his eyes are half-open and totally unfocused and there's a splotchy red creeping down his chest and he's beautiful, he really is. Yuuya bends down to kiss him hard, stomach flipping when Sawatari moans into his mouth for the second time and again when he realizes he can feel a damp spot starting on his thigh through his cargo pants.

Sawatari comes even quicker this time, whining loud and grabbing at the sheets, the force of it twisting him away to curl up even as he squeezes Yuuya's leg tight between his own. He's shaking, overstimulated and gasping at the smallest touch or movement, so Yuuya presses a gentle kiss at the base of his neck before rolling off to lie next to him and stroke his hair. It's like a victory to Yuuya, this moment of tenderness, but when Sawatari opens his eyes after a few minutes he immediately covers his face and mumbles something that almost sounds like an apology.

With a chuckle, Yuuya says, "It's fine. You enjoyed yourself." And it really is fine. What's an entertainer if not somebody whose mission is to satisfy? He'd enjoyed himself as well, filling with an electric pride from how the expression on Sawatari's face when he came was near the happiness he'd found when they'd dueled that time.

Sawatari whips his hands down. "I'm not finished! I can keep going," he says, scowling, but with his hair more mussed than usual and his face still all flushed it's hard to look at him and feel intimidated. "As a matter of fact—" Yuuya kisses him, tugging at his shirt zipper, and he freezes.

There's nothing he can do to control this part, the inevitable reveal, and as the zipper tab clicks against the bottom and his belly is exposed he braces himself, waiting for Yuuya to say something.

Noticing Sawatari go quiet, Yuuya pulls back to sit and hold his hand. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's nothing." He yanks his hand away and pushes himself up, using his other hand to hold his shirt together without thinking. The dark grey fabric is smooth and familiar between his fingers. Yuuya's watching him, waiting, but there's a sort of, what, pity starting there and that's the last thing he wants to see. "Actually, I'm." He lets go of the shirt and forces himself to look directly at Yuuya. "Not many people get to see me with my shirt off, y'know. Consider yourself lucky!"

There's an edge to his voice, like he's trying to convince himself of something he doesn't quite believe. Yuuya doesn't see anything to be ashamed about; sure, there's a slight pooch deepening the folds of Sawatari's belly but otherwise it's about as flat as his chest. Honestly, he likes the way Sawatari's tummy feels and looks, a softness there one wouldn't quite expect just like the rest of him, but he's familiar with what it's like looking at yourself through the smudged lens of other people's expectations. So he leans into Sawatari's space and slips a hand under his shirt, resting a hand on the small curve of his belly.

"I like you just the way you are, Sawatari," says Yuuya. "You're different from when we first met—" Thank goodness, he adds to himself. "But what makes you _special_ has been there the whole time, and I think you showed me that in the Maiami Championship. There's nobody else quite like you." He means it, no caveats, and something in Sawatari's eyes changes—or maybe that's his own vision getting blurred by tears, the rush of affection just then too much to contain.

Sawatari wipes a tear off Yuuya's cheek. "You crybaby. What an embarrassing thing to say," he mumbles, voice wavering. It's so much of a relief he gets a bit lightheaded which is why he hugs Yuuya to his chest for support, not because he doesn't know how to respond to such a sincere thing. The sensation of Yuuya pressed up against him, though, sends a certain heat rising through his body so he squeezes Yuuya, giving him a quick kiss, then scoots back on the bed until he's got his back to the wall. Yuuya follows without prompting, eyes bright and a smile on his lips.

Straddling Sawatari's hips again, Yuuya pulls his own shirt off in one quick move and throws it behind him onto the floor somewhere. This time he just goes ahead and takes Sawatari's hand and puts it on his chest, relishing the small choking noise that results.

"The fun's just starting," he says, grinning.

Sawatari answers with a strangled laugh, kneading at Yuuya's left tit with the one hand and playing with his right nipple with the other. Yuuya, it turns out, is very sensitive here, going hard as soon as his tits are touched and even just a warm breath makes Yuuya moan and—god, his pulse is racing. Resting his head over Yuuya's heart to try and calm himself, Sawatari inhales shakily. His mouth's watering and it's as though Yuuya can read his mind because then there's a hand on the back of his head nudging him, and Yuuya's nipple is velvet-soft against his tongue and there's the trace taste of salt and—

With Yuuya's fingers tangled in his hair again Sawatari sucks and carefully bites until his face is burning and all he can hear is his heart and he can feel himself throbbing because he wants to be fucked _now_ but no he has to do this right. Pulling off to catch his breath with a wet gasp he switches to the other side, licking across Yuuya's chest as he goes; the grip on his hair tightens, pulling, and the twinge of it shocks right down Sawatari's spine to his clit and he shudders. There's heavy breathing and quiet whispering above him (nothing very coherent because Yuuya's got his face buried now in Sawatari's hair) and in a way just this is enough. For somebody to tell him how good he is, what a good job he's doing, how good this feels—he'd give so much to hear that, has given so much, and to have Yuuya say it low and gentle into his ear makes something almost forgotten inside him ache.

It also, he registers with a little embarrassment, sharpens the throbbing feeling until he's squirming once more, desperate. If he could just get Yuuya's leg between his again….

Yuuya drops out of his haze when he starts lurching, nose mashing against Sawatari's head, and it's a few confused seconds before he realizes that Sawatari is trying to move one of his own legs out from under him. It can only be to hump him again, and so soon? Really? He cranes his neck to look for his bedside clock because it must have been only, what, five or ten minutes since the last time, but no, somehow it's been about an hour. Maybe more, since it's not like Yuuya was paying attention to when exactly they started again. He'd been too focused on the faint smell of Sawatari's lavender shampoo, the heat of his mouth and tongue, the way those deft fingers pinch and pull—

No, the two of them need to last longer this round. So, determined, Yuuya sits all his weight on Sawatari's legs to prevent any escape. When Sawatari opens his mouth (to complain, probably) Yuuya grabs his head and pulls him into another openmouthed kiss. Sawatari doesn't hesitate this time, pushing into the kiss and deepening it himself and biting at Yuuya's lips and clicking their teeth together—

If Yuuya weren't so turned on he'd laugh at the glare Sawatari shoots him as though it's his fault, but it's not his fault and it doesn't matter anyway so he drags his lips over Sawatari's cheek to lick at his earlobe until he chokes and bucks before moving down to his neck. Yuuya can feel the hold on his tits weakening; with someone as volatile as Sawatari it doesn't come as much of a surprise that he's so responsive as to be practically hair-trigger, already whining in between hoarse breaths and shuddering every time Yuuya moves his hands or shifts his hips. Tangling his fingers in Sawatari's hair, Yuuya yanks his head back to expose his neck—he's long wanted to mark those collarbones, leave a hickey that can't be hidden without people noticing—

Sawatari yelps. "What the—OW!"

"Ah, sorry!" Yuuya winces, dismayed, but Sawatari stops him from letting go.

"Actually, uh, that felt good. Do it again."

"I don't want to hurt you, though."

"It's okay," Sawatari reassures him, breathless. "You just caught me by surprise, is all," he adds with a chuckle. "Not easy to do with the great Neo New Sawatari."

Humming quietly, Yuuya tightens his grip once more and starts sucking at the base of Sawatari's neck hard enough to bruise. He waits until he hears a loud whimper, timing the sharp pull to make his friend moan—

Yuuya slams Sawatari's head into the wall behind them.

"NOT LIKE THAT," he screeches, wrenching away from Yuuya's hands and trying to scowl but with the pain it comes out as more of a pout.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry are you okay—"

With a scoff Sawatari pushes Yuuya off him. "Let's try a different position." Having the guy look up at him like a kicked dog tugs at something in his stomach, though, and not in a way he wants to repeat. "I'm fine. Look, you're new to this, of course you're gonna make mistakes. But you're doing pretty well for a first-timer so if I just make things easier for you we should be all right."

It's a backhanded apology, if it can even be called an apology, yet Yuuya smiles and gets to his knees. It's just how Sawatari is, prickly and arrogant and predictable and one of his favorite people. 

After some clambering around they settle on this: Sawatari on his knees holding onto the headboard in front of him and Yuuya holding onto his hair from behind. Just pressing up against Sawatari's ass gets Yuuya hard again, and it's a little embarrassing how fast it happens but the wheezy groan Sawatari makes and the way he grinds back while mumbling something about always being a surprise, that's why I like you, I like you so much—

Yuuya falls onto him, shoving their faces into the pillow and squeezing him tight to his chest and gasping as he comes in his pants, thrusting shallowly. The breath against Sawatari's neck and how he can feel Yuuya throbbing practically all over gets him wet again—well, he was already wet, but now it's so much more and he must be starting to drip and, god, he wants to see what Yuuya looks like right now, so he collapses onto the bed with a whuff and wriggles around until they're face to face. Those red eyes are half-open but still focused on him and the way his stomach twists makes him wonder if this is what people mean when they talk about love. Gently, Sawatari maneuvers Yuuya onto his back and kisses him quick on the lips before moving down his neck and chest to nuzzle the faint trail of hair leading into the waistband of his pants. Sitting up, Sawatari pulls off his shirt and jacket and throws them on the floor, eager to pull down Yuuya's pants instead, yet when he reaches for the zipper Yuuya freezes.

"What's wrong? Do you need another break?" He says, as though he weren't the one needing a break before, but instead of pointing this out Yuuya shakes his head.

Letting himself lie there a bit before answering, Yuuya takes a deep breath and smiles. "Go ahead."

Sawatari furrows his eyebrows as though to say, You sure? And Yuuya nods. So the pants come off and the scabs gravelled across Yuuya's thighs are revealed and he closes his eyes. He's gotten sidelong glances and weird comments in the school locker room over this but it's so hard to stop, to leave himself alone when hardly anybody else does. Yet he doesn't hear anything, not like he was expecting, just the sound of bedsheets rustling and the mattress creaking. Reaching for one of Yuuya's hands and holding it tight, Sawatari waits for Yuuya to open his eyes before going to kiss a spotty patch of skin near his soft cock; it's not the same thing but he understands. Feeling Yuuya relax, Sawatari kisses his thigh again and takes him into his mouth to start giving him a masterful blowjob, chuckling when Yuuya chokes and grabs his hair, but then he's being pulled away—

"Hey, what gives?"

"T-too sensitive," mutters Yuuya, bringing his hands down to cover himself. "Few more minutes."

With a huff Sawatari sits up. _He_ can keep going right after coming once, no problem, but then again not everybody can be as good at this as he is and it's Yuuya's first time so some faults are to be expected. Seeing these faults, though, seeing his rival-slash-friend laid out vulnerable under him floods him with the desire to make Yuuya's face light up with trust again, hear Yuuya's warm voice praising him again. The two feelings, tangled together to the point where he can't tell them apart, set Sawatari's nerves afire, body prickling unbearably warm, and he almost falls off the bed trying to get his own trousers and briefs off as quickly as possible.

Straddling one of Yuuya's legs, he leans in until their noses are barely brushing and whispers, "Then let me put on a show for you." Just saying that sends another surge of heat through him and he arches his back, relishing the way he moves slick against Yuuya.

Yuuya can't help but gasp, small and quiet; this boy is beautiful, all long eyelashes and heavy eyebrows and faint freckles and soft belly and thick thighs, and when he fixes Yuuya with that cool grey stare there's no disguising the fire inside. There never has been, not with Sawatari, but this is different. The way he flicks his bangs out of his face and grins is more than just prideful, it's _comfortable_. There's no artifice now; Sawatari feels safe enough here to let himself whine and bite his lip, eyes squeezed shut and ignoring the blush spreading splotchy across his chest as he rocks hard against Yuuya's leg and smears his juices all over— This too is beautiful, the sight of Sawatari's hands sliding up his own thighs like the answer to a private mystery Yuuya hadn't known was there.

"Sakaki Yuuya," says Sawatari, voice cracking. "Yuuya—" But, god, it's so easy to get three fingers in and a familiar urgency's already filling him up so he gives up trying to form complete thoughts and just mumbles Yuuya's name over and over, less like some kind of prayer than a reminder: a reminder that this is real, that he is loved. Then he's wheezing loud, doubling over and trying to support himself with one shaky arm, and a certain tenderness drowns out the small part of Yuuya that feels bad for him. If tenderness can be the right word with the wet sound of Sawatari fingerfucking himself echoing in Yuuya's ears, but never mind that; pulling him down more for a kiss gets him gasping, the change of angle timed just right to start a wail rising in his throat so he hides his face against Yuuya's shoulder to muffle it but it won't stop and so he bites down and raises his hips more and—

Sawatari's teeth aren't sharp enough to break the skin but his jaws are strong and it hurts the same way it did when he snapped Yuuya's goggles, sudden but not unexpected and with a secret thrill following behind, only this time Yuuya knows who he is. He's warm and soft and so close, their cheeks pressed together, but they can be closer Yuuya could be _inside_ and his cock's hard again and bumping against Sawatari's thigh—

Then Sawatari seizes up, biting harder until Yuuya groans, and gushes hot on his leg—

There's nothing else now, just the two of them holding each other tight as Sawatari closes his mouth and holds his breath and, whimpering, rides himself through another burst. It's pooling on the bed beneath them, soaking into the mattress, but Yuuya doesn't care because he's lucky, he is so lucky to have met someone like Sawatari.

Shaking and trying to control his ragged panting, Sawatari collapses heavy onto Yuuya; he desperately wants to keep going but he's lightheaded enough as it is and it wouldn't do to pass out, not this time. With his head tucked under Yuuya's he can hear the rapid beating of his friend's heart. And he can feel the low vibrations of his friend's voice thrumming all along his body, the actual words lost on him until Yuuya reaches down between his legs.

"D-did you want to keep…?" Yuuya's a bit breathless himself. "That's like the third time you've, um." Sawatari's clinging to him, fingertips digging in tight and smelling of musky-sweet sweat, and somehow it reminds him of how his friend always follows him around except here there's no need to compete for attention; here they can relax and in this sense Sawatari's won, finally. He's tried so hard despite being kicked down so many times and if nothing else Yuuya can understand this and the desperate feeling of wanting to be touched that goes along with it, and so it's not hard to believe that Sawatari can keep going, that he deserves to feel again the freedom Yuuya was able to give him earlier.

Not bothering to try and push himself up, Sawatari starts explaining into Yuuya's chest about how, no, it's different and usually he doesn't come at the same time, but Yuuya is slowly rubbing at his clit with something like exploratory wonder and he's _this close_ so he might as well just demonstrate. Yuuya's cock nudges him with every roll of his hips and the old him might've just ignored it. The great entertainer Sawatari Shingo, however, cannot let his audience go ignored and so he manages to take hold of it and the moan that answers this gesture is its own kind of applause. Yuuya falters a bit, hips stuttering, but Sawatari grabs his face with one free hand and kisses him hard, groaning into his mouth when he presses a thumb down again, and after that finding each other's rhythm and sticking to it comes easy.

Yuuya's distracted enough by Sawatari's gasps, especially after he thrusts a couple fingers inside himself once more and his voice starts getting higher and louder, that being jerked off almost becomes an afterthought because this is definitely different. Sawatari's face is as red as before but he's humping wet against Yuuya's palm so it's not hard to feel the way he contracts around his own fingers with every other stroke of his clit, and when he opens his eyes there's some new depth there as though Yuuya's drawn back the curtain on his last defense.

Then Sawatari's coming into Yuuya's hand, whining loud and bucking until with a shudder he drops back down heavy enough to knock Yuuya's breath out of him. His hand is still cupped around his friend's cock, fingertips pressed light against a heartbeat under the tender skin, and in this hormone haze he can think of only one thing: Yuuya. He's always wanted Yuuya for one reason or another and now he's got him literally in the palm of his hand and okay he's not thinking very clearly but, god, the look in those eyes—the spotlight of that love is on full blast and if his friends have taught him anything it's that to get more sometimes you have to give more. And so what he does is scoot down the bed, kissing his way along Yuuya's side until he can press his face in between his legs.

There's a gasp, yes, and Yuuya's fingers tangle in his hair again but this time he doesn't push him off. Instead he holds him there, guiding him deeper until he can hear a quiet gagging sound and he lets go, that hot mouth dragging along his length. There's a tightness building in Yuuya's gut, his toes already curled from being brought to the edge by Sawatari's hand, and the whisper of the other boy breathing soft through his nose against his skin is like static electricity with how sensitive he's become.

"Sa-Sawatari, I think—"

Hearing the warning tone and feeling Yuuya's fingernails dig in, Sawatari pulls away so as to not let himself catch a mouthful of cum. He loves his friend, he does, yet he's always found the taste horrible—

The sudden release is too much for Yuuya to handle and he comes right then, choking on air and hitting Sawatari full in the face.

It's uncomfortably close to some of the humiliating things Sawatari's done before and he could complain, would complain, but before he can piece together a solid harangue Yuuya opens his eyes and there's a look there that holds everything. The hand that touches his face is gentle, wiping him clean with a whispered apology—this is a rare thing and it's his now. He brings himself up to lie on Yuuya, feeling the rapid heartbeat start slowing under him.

"I lo—" Yuuya cuts Sawatari off with a kiss. It's not deliberate, just an impulse, and from the way his eyebrows rise instead of scrunch down it's pretty clear he understands. When they break apart to breathe Sawatari kisses his way down to rest his head on Yuuya's shoulder. They hold each other tight like this for a few moments, saying nothing, then there's something wet against his neck yet he can feel his friend's lips pressed close together so it can't be that.

"Sawatari." Yuuya turns his head best as he can to try and see what's going on but Sawatari just nuzzles in tighter, breath hitching. "Are you okay?"

With an indignantly loud sniffle he shoves himself up. "I'm fine! You're sweaty and I got some in my eyes! Geez, Yuuya, I know it's your first time, but really, you should be more considerate."

He goes on like this, saying something about how first-timers wouldn't grasp the true depth of a sexual encounter and when you're older you'll understand, and Yuuya tunes him out because for one thing they're the same age but for another the whole First Time thing doesn't actually mean much. After the roller-coaster of discovering Pendulum summoning, being a groundbreaker doesn't matter the same way; if anything it seems as though this means more to Sawatari than it does to him.

"Hey." Yuuya reaches out to draw him back down, tugging a little against stubborn resistance. "I'm sorry I, uh, got it on your face."

"You should be! Not even a thank you," Sawatari retorts, but there's a smile in his voice like a certain pride's been fed and he can rest easy knowing that despite revealing his vulnerabilities he's still come out on top. Or something like that. It's not quite encouraging his ego, what Yuuya does, but it's enough to help bind together the mortar he needs to keep his walls intact until he's ready to demolish them—or at least widen one of the few pass-through windows he has.

Exhaustion slams down on both of them now after these several hours, and comfortable as it is to pull the rumpled sheets over them so they can cuddle, close and warm, Yuuya's not going to be able to fall asleep with that cold damp spot under him. Sawatari's dozing off already, apparently used to having a bed like this, but this isn't his bed and so Yuuya shakes his shoulder.

"Mmm, I appreciate your enthusiasm but even someone with sexual prowess as legendary as mine needs to rest sometimes," he mumbles before rolling over.

Yuuya shoves him. "My bed's all wet now because of you, Mr. Legendary. You need to get up so I can put my sheets in the dryer."

"What? Oh. Actually, you know what? The thing to do now would be a nice hot bath. You did a lot of hard work trying to keep up with me—good work," he hastily adds as his friend's visible exasperation teeters on the edge of annoyance. "Wouldn't you like these expert hands to rub you down?"

"I'm not a horse," mutters Yuuya, but sharing a bath does sound pleasant.

\---

"You don't have any bubble bath, do you? Fear not!" With a flourish, Sawatari produces a vial from...somewhere. Yuuya can only assume he grabbed it out of his backpack on the way out of the bedroom. How much of this had he rehearsed ahead of time? Kind of neurotic, maybe, but cute in a way and it's not like Yuuya couldn't relate.

"Since when can you do magic tricks, Sawatari?" 

He scoffs. "I can do anything if I put my mind to it. Anyway, how's the water?"

Just the right temperature, and the soap foams up beautifully. Lavender again, the scent of it relaxing and familiar—he can't place it at first then it hits him. He's been smelling it all night in Sawatari's hair.

"Where did you buy this? I like it," he says and the other boy's face lights up. 

Leaning forward in the bath so fast some water sloshes over the side, Sawatari presses a quick kiss to Yuuya's lips. "I knew you would. It's from a personal supplier, custom-made; I can have a special order delivered to your front step, just say the word!"

Yuuya smiles. "I'll think about it." The uneasiness that'd crawled onto him out of bed is slipping away. Everything still feels natural, their exchanges unforced, and when Sawatari breaks from washing his back to hold him, lips soft against his neck, he feels comfortable in his friend's arms. 

By the time they get out the bathroom mirror is steamed over along with the clock, hiding whatever ungodly time of night it is, and Sawatari suggests they watch a movie on his d-pad. It's a roundabout way of asking if he can stay the night, even though by now that's a given, so when the answer is yes he grins and leads the way back to Yuuya's bedroom as though this were his own house. Before they can agree on something to watch, however, it becomes difficult enough to keep their eyes open let alone hold the d-pad above them without dropping it on their faces.

His voice quiet, Yuuya asks, "Should I turn out the lights?"

"No," Sawatari mumbles, face smushed against his friend's shoulder. "I wanna watch the movie." He's got his legs and arms wrapped around Yuuya, his d-pad forgotten under a pillow, and tightens his hold when the lamp's turned off anyway.

It's not that Sawatari is afraid of the dark, far from it; this is an unfamiliar room and who knows what he might trip over, that's all. But as his eyes adjust he can see there's nothing to be worried about; the warmth of Yuuya's body and breath against his own is worlds away from his lonely home. There's a gap in the curtains and how clear the sky is, how bright the stars are— 

"Thanks, Sawatari."

"For what?"

Yuuya shrugs, the movement of it more felt than seen. "Just thank you."

"Oh, uh, you're welcome."

Sawatari can't think of what he did besides show how he cares the best he can—and maybe that's it. Maybe that's all that really matters to Yuuya, a small voice suggests, knowing he can still make someone feel this way after all their struggles. Whatever the reason, Yuuya's hand finding his under the covers brings a hot flush of pride to match the heat of their skin. With their motives not quite parallel he may never fully understand Yuuya but nonetheless he is glad. He's glad they did this, glad they're here, and if they can stay like this, differences and all, he'll be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and/or comments if you can, they mean a lot to me. 
> 
> there is a short follow-up here if you are interested: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7498485


End file.
